Miss You Papa
14th Jan – a year passed since you gently took your final journey Papa… but the truth is still not sinking in… I am still waiting for some miracle to happen… I still want you to come back… I am still waiting… though I know… it’s a long-long wait… in fact never-ending wait…
14th Jan 2018 – it was an auspicious day of Makar Sankranti. Festivity, happiness and pride was every corner as our new acquisition was ready to move-in. Even today I remember it was a sunny Sunday of Delhi’s winter. Since morning we were busy in the celebrations of Sankrant… the Khichdi… Rewadi… Gazak… Moongfali…
I was relaxing after the busy morning when you called me at around 2.30 PM. We were talking for half an hour. Discussing almost every aspect of my new home… the time labour is taking to finish work… the Hawan planning and all. I asked you to come and see the completed home the next day… none of us knew that “that tomorrow” will never come in my life… Papa, I miss talking to you…
14th Feb 2018, 3.15 PM – phone bell rang… somehow something cracked inside me… I don’t know why I had a feeling without even picking the call that something is wrong… something is taken away from me…
“Papa sadak par gir gaye, hospital lekar gaye hai… aap pahuch jayo” – these words entered my ear like melted glass. I don’t know why I knew that time only Papa, that I have lost you… even when no one knew what exactly has happened… even when nothing was confirmed…
“HOPES and EXPECTATIONS are the biggest enemy of your happiness” – you taught me this Papa… but when I was going to hospital, I was hoping and expecting that everything will be fine and I will come back with you… inspite of having a strong feeling of already loosing you. Seeing my condition the rickshaw wala bhaiya was consoling me – “vishwas rakhiye… sub teek hoga”. Little did he know that I have lost my biggest strength… my hero…
I reached hospital emergency… Rajat (my brother) waiting for me… already full of tears… he took me to you… I saw you… you were lying so calmly in that white sheet. I shouted at everyone… why have you wrapped Papa in white sheet… I told Rajat to remove it. I was shouting at you to speak to me… I was shaking you so that you wake up and get up… I was totally out of my senses… you should have got up and controlled me Papa.
“You can sign and take the body” – someone said… “BODY” that is what we are after we die… we are only a BODY… but for me you are and always be my Papa never a BODY.
I called my near and dear ones to tell that Papa is no more with us… they could not believe of what I said – you were so fit and fine and full of energy… they believed only because I was saying this… because of my troubling voice… because of my shaking body which they could feel even on phone… because of the extreme agony we were going through…
“Makar Sankranti” – The day when Pitamah Bhishm departed from his soul.
For the first time you came home with the help of 4-5 people. You were sleeping so serenely…
I was holding your hand and calling you back… waiting for a miracle to happen…
I am still waiting Papa… and I will keep waiting for the rest of my life…
I miss talking to you Papa…
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